ATTENTION ATTENTION: If you or anyone you know is trying to lose weight, stop (STOP STOP) reading this post right now at this very second.
Or, if you absolutely must, read the post but eat two giant handfuls of salad right afterward because you will feel your thighs twitching.

I made Momofuku’s famous Crack Pie.
I don’t know what came over me. Really, I plead temporary insanity brought on by the grumbling in my stomach and a distinct memory of the pie I ate months ago on a summery NYC night.
My brother, a to-be lawyer, has assured me that this insanity defense will stand up in court when you all sue me for millions on account of the insane amount of weight you’ll gain after even just seeing this stuff.
It’s that sinful.
But don’t the most sinful things taste the most amazing? It feels good to be bad.
I almost didn’t share this with you, by the way. Actually, I’m not really sharing with anyone at this point in time. I’ve hidden the pie away underneath piles of leftovers in the fridge and no one in this house but me knows that it’s there. I’ve been sneaking small pieces of it every chance I get and then slipping it back into its hiding spot. The one time I let Boy have a bit, the tiniest bite I could possibly give up without demanding some form of monetary compensation (or dishwashing, a baker’s dream – am I right or am I right?!), he said, “Whoa. You can NOT be making that kind of pie.” He then instructed me to stop eating it. He knew already by the look of the mostly eaten pie plate, that I was addicted.
No wonder they call it Crack Pie!

Apparently this is the week where I share how my recipes don’t always come out perfectly because this pie, thought perfectly delicious, caused me much anguish when it came out of the fridge (after coming out of the oven) and proceeded to ooze all over the place when cut. Underbaked. I threw a tantrum.
And then I took a bite of the ooey-gooeyness. And then another. And two pieces later I decided that it wasn’t the prettiest thing ever, but it was certainly the most delicious. It had to be shared. At all costs. You see, it’s an oatmeal cookie-based crust, barely sweet, completely homemade and laden with butter that complements the buttery sweet filling. It tastes almost like a pecan pie but without all those annoying pecans and more carefully balanced with its perfect crust.
I’ll cry when there’s no more pie to be had.
Crack Pie
adapted from the LA Times’ posting of a Momofuku favorite and seen on Almost Bourdain
Makes 2 10″ pies. (I halved this and made one pie but the measurements were sketchy at times so I’m posting the original.)
Note: The recipe did not specify whether or not the brown sugar should be packed. I packed it but not overly tightly.
Ingredients
For cookie to be used in crust:
- 2/3 c + 1 tbsp all-purpose flour
- scant 1/8 tsp baking powder
- scant 1/8 tsp baking soda
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/2 c (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
- 1/3 c light brown sugar
- 3 tbsp granulated sugar
- 1 egg
- scant 1 c rolled oats
For crust:
- 1 sheet cooled oatmeal cookie, crumbled
- 1/4 c (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
- 1 1/2 tbsp brown sugar
- 1/8 tsp salt
For filling:
- 1 1/2 c granulated sugar
- 3/4 c + scant 3 tbsp light brown sugar
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/3 c + 1 tsp milk powder
- 1 c (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted
- 3/4 c + scant 2 tbsp heavy cream
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 8 egg yolks
- powdered sugar (optional)
Instructions
For cookie to be used in crust, Preheat oven to 375F. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside. Using an electric mixer, cream together butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar until light and fluffy. Add in egg and mix until well combined. Beat in the flour a little bit at a time until incorporated. Stir in oats.
Spread mixture onto a 9×13″ baking sheet and bake 20 minutes or until golden brown. Set aside to cool.
For crust, Combine cookie, butter, brown sugar, and salt in a food processor and pulse until the mixture begins to stick to itself and is well combined. Divide among 2 10″ pie plates and press onto the bottom and up the sides of each plate. Set aside.
For filling, Preheat oven to 350F. Whisk together sugar, brown sugar, salt, and milk powder in a large bowl. Whisk in the melted butter followed by the heavy cream and vanilla. Finally, whisk in the egg yolks but take care not to add too much air. When combined, divide the filling between the 2 prepared shells. One at a time, bake each pie for 15 minutes, then reduce the oven temperature to 325F and bake just until the filling is slightly jiggly, approximately 10 minutes more. Note: If you are using 9″ plates, baking time will have to be increased approximately 5 minutes to account for the thicker filling. Cool pies on rack to room temperature, then refrigerate until well chilled. Serve cold and dusted with powdered sugar if desired.

Excuse me while I get more pie. I’m in withdrawal.